Divine retribution (or why God hates Monsanto)

Posted on | August 27, 2008 | 4 Comments

I am not a scientist. That’s why I am sometimes amazed and appalled when a bunch of really, really intelligent PhD types do something like create genetically-modified Round-up resistant cotton and then react with surprise and dismay when weeds start turning up with herbicide-resistance. Yes, Monsanto, I’m talking about your scientists, your GMO cotton, and your big freaking mess of Round-up resistant pigweed.

You see, pigweed, a member of the amaranth family, was nasty even before it added Round-up resistance to its DNA. It can survive in drought conditions and is tough enough to damage cotton pickers, and I mean the big mechanical ones, not humans. Now, like the cotton that languishes in its shadow, pigweed resists the chemical for which farmers have been paying Monsanto the big bucks.

Since the US produces nearly 20% of the world’s cotton, this problem could impact world markets. And yet, instead of ditching insidious GMOs, folks are researching even nastier chemicals to kill off the pigweed.

I have three theories:

• It was all part of Monsanto’s evil plan, because they want southern US cotton farmers to pay them to fix this problem too.
• Mother Nature has a serious sense of humor and is gently guiding us back toward common sense by illustrating the inherent dangers of GMO.
• God hates Monsanto. And hates us for allowing Monsanto to do what it does.

I’ll leave it to you to pick your favorite theory (or create your own), but seriously, I never felt more like going on an organic cotton buying-spree than I do right this second.

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